Omus’s Weblog

Politics, Trekking, Environment & Personal

SK comments on sports corruption August 31, 2010

Filed under: Personal — omus @ 10:07 pm

Reporter: Welcome viewers, today we have Mr. Suresh Kalmadi (Mr. SK..not SRK) on the show, a sports corruption expert, to give his expert opinion on alleged Match fixing by some Pakistani players. To ask questions please SMS “Q your question” and send it across to 5678910.

Reporter turning her attention towards Mr. SK.

Reported: Welcome Sir, its been my pleasure to have you on our show.

Mr SK.: Thank you. Well I have been paid for that, you know there’s no free lunch.

Reporter: So please give your expert opinion on the alleged match fixing controversy.

Mr SK: Its very unfortunate for not only Pakistani cricket, but cricket in general. These players must be sacked immediately and if proven guilty should be banned for life and also all there property should be taken away and used for development of cricket.

Reporter: But would it be fine to ban these players, just mere grounds of allegations.

Mr SK: Why other players name didn’t surface. Obviously there is some fishy things going and even the preliminary evidences of No-ball do prove that.

Reporter: Ok. so we have first question form our audience. Well, the question is to me and it is “What kind of Sports corruption expert is Mr. SK?”

Reporter: Well thats a very tricky question. He knows the rules of the game of doing corruption in sports, infact we have say is the author/father of the concept.

Mr SK: What the $%^&..

Reporter: No i didn’t that way. I mean, since you the rules, you can catch the criminal. Its like Police knowing popular hide out of criminals.

Mr SK: OK [with a plagued laugh and reported takes a relief breath within self]

Reporter: Moving on, won’t this incident be bad for Cricket in general.

Mr SK: Indeed it would be. No body wants to watch a pre-decided match. Fans would indeed be sceptical about the remaining portion of the series. Leave behind fans, the sportsman themselves would be spectical about burning their muscles.

Reporter: So, whats fate of rest of the series?

Mr SK: I think it should be called off or played with new set of Pakistani players.

Reporter: So we have another question from viewers. This SMS from Sarthak reads “MR. SRK, even commonwealth ganes OC are dealing with similar charges of corruption. Do you see lot of analogy?”

Reporter: Hmm..thats a tough question. BTW Sarthak, your question is for Shahruk Khan and not Mr SK. So I would take it in different show with Shah rukh Khan [Reporter gives a questioning look to Mr. SK]

Mr SK: Although its questioned to Shah Rukh Khan, I would like to comment on it. No there is no analogy between CWG and cricket. See there spellings are different, common wealth games are collection of common games [Reporter thinks in her mind…yah it indeed is Common game, after all wealth have been stolen], where as Cricket is Cricket.

Reporter: But corruption stays corruption, whether its in common games or Cricket.

Mr SK: First you must understand, match fixing is different issue and corruption a different issue.

Reporter: But deciding on vendors, before even tendors are put into place, is also a kind of Match fixing. It can be called “Tender fixing”

Mr SK: No tender were pre-fixed. All are false allegations

Reporter: But there are solid proofs floating around, And its not just one proof but many.

Mr SK: All are false allegations.

Reporter: But as you said in Pakistani match fixing scandal that players should be banned even on grounds of allegations. So why thats not applicable to you

Mr SK: You want I step down just on grounds of allegations? Never. Pakistan match fixing scandal is a different issue, it involved prestige of a ravaged country.

Reporter: Oh!..so corruption in CWG has brought laurels to our country?

Mr SK: I never said. 

Reporter: How can a 1000 Rs toilet paper roll cost Rs 5000, that too on rent.

Mr SK: Those rolls were not as simple as house toilet paper. The renting process were transparent and were done through tenders.

Reporter: WTF, you had rented toilet paper. How come?

Mr SK: hmmmmmmmmmmm [puzzled]

Reporter: you talked of banning Pakistani players on moral grounds. Why not yourself? Atleast if not ban, why don’t you just step down?

Mr SK: Why should I? You know politics, if I step down even for a day, it will become a life time ban for me.There are just too many Hawks around.

Reporter: Yah, no wonder politics in sports and how you continue to rule for five consecutive terms as chairman of IOC….

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